


False Start

by winnerstick



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Prostitute Magnus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:36:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6938134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winnerstick/pseuds/winnerstick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec didn't know what he was expecting when he hired a prostitute, but it definitely wasn't Magnus Bane. His life hadn't been exactly easy before Magnus came into his life, but it sure as hell got a lot more complicated afterward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [follow me on tumblr!!](izziefray.tumblr.com)

The card felt heavy and hot in his pocket, and that was absolutely ridiculous, because it was just a card. It was only a piece of cardstock cut to one sixteenth of a page. It is not on fire. The only heat it should have is the heat it gained from being so close to Alec’s body. It should have been insignificant, almost as if it’s not there, and yet it was all that Alec could think about.

It was impossible to get through his day. To walk around town running errands, to eat lunch with his parents, to meet with his editor, to ride the subway back home; all of it took an extreme amount of restraint to not pull the card out and stare at it.

And now, here he was, with the card on the table, staring at it.

It was absurd, really. He knew it was, and so he stood up and walked away from it pointedly. But not even fixing dinner got his mind off of it. He just kept glancing over at the table, making sure it was still there. Eating dinner was worse, now that he didn’t have anything to focus on, just the mindless shoveling of food into his mouth. He tried to get some work done, and found his thoughts centering around the idea, weighing the pros and cons. He started to write them on the document instead of the manuscript he was _supposed_ to be working on, but once he realized what he was doing, he snapped his laptop closed and threw himself away from the desk.

Damn Izzy and her damn meddling.

She knew exactly how to needle at his mind. Just suggesting something like that was laughable, but easily blown off. Giving him a _card_ and a way to make this _concrete_ was another thing entirely. It took it from pointed teasing, which she often confused with concern, and an actual suggestion. But it was a ridiculous suggestion.

He couldn’t hire a hooker.

It was illegal, for one. He could get in a lot of trouble. And how did she even know that this one was legit? It looked almost too professional, with a hired graphic designer on the job and everything. Its use of color was, Alec had to admit, impressive, the way it brought the blues and purples and pinks and black together to make it seem artsy, rather than busy. The information was vague and concise, and if he hadn’t been given it for the explicit purpose of hiring someone to have sex with, he almost wouldn’t have known what the card was advertising. It absolutely had to be a trap. The police set this up, found a way to give Izzy the card, and now she was unwittingly getting her brother in trouble with the law.

Alec didn’t even want to know how Izzy had gotten it. If it had been given to her or if she had sought it out didn’t really matter to him. Well, it _did_ , but he didn’t want to have to then know if she had used it. She almost told him this morning, when she had given him the card and suggested he use it, but he had cut her off.

“I don’t need to know, Iz,” he had said, holding up his hands as if to protect himself from her onslaught of information.

Izzy had grinned, and flicked her hair behind her shoulder. “Fine, suit yourself. Go in blind.”

There had been too much information in that, but Alec pointedly did not read into it. Instead, he focused all of his attention on the card. And how ridiculous it would be for him to use it. He thought all about that as he picked the card up a moment before he picked up his phone.

And then he threw the card across the room, locked his phone, and threw himself into a freezing cold shower, hoping that would un-rattle him. And hoping that by morning, this whole thing would be forgotten.

\---

He thinks about it, though, the very next morning.

He had no idea where it landed, and it was probably better that way. He forced himself not to look for it, and instead went about his morning, getting ready and forcibly pushing the thought from his mind. It didn’t really work. He thought about it all day at work, and that night when he was pacing, trying to figure out where to go with his manuscript, he found it. Just barely hidden inside his entertainment center. 

He picked it up and placed it on the end table, exactly where it had been before, and contemplated setting it on fire, but that felt a little extreme. So instead he got ready for bed and went to sleep.

It sat there the next day, taunting him just the same. And the next day. And the next.

Finally, it had been an entire week since Izzy had given Alec the card, and he hadn’t gotten it out of his mind that entire time. He _knew_ that he was too tightly wound about it—that was part of the reason Izzy had suggested he hire someone in the first place—but he just couldn’t move on. It was a terrible idea, really, but he still found himself, beer in hand for some liquid courage, holding the card and staring at the website listed. The URL on the card found its way onto Alec’s phone—which somehow felt more discreet and appropriate than doing it on the laptop that he used for work—and Alec could feel the pulsing in his ears.

It was an easy enough website to navigate—just as pretty as the business card had been—and even with that, Alec felt disoriented. Once the site loaded and he was faced with pictures of naked bodies, he had to put his phone down, screen facing the couch, so he could take a minute to walk away and reorganize his thoughts. This was so absurd. And yet, he found himself picking up the phone again and plugging in a search for escorts in New York City.

Most of the guys on it were… okay. Just okay. Alec felt a little like he was online shopping; in a way, he was. But no one was really standing out to him, and the way that their eyes were blurred was throwing him off. Probably to keep their identities safe, but it still felt completely impersonal. Out of curiosity he clicked on one profile, finding a fact sheet and a quick blurb about himself, and Alec then felt as if he was on a dating site. His cheeks flushed and he backed out of the profile, taking another breath before scrolling through.

There weren’t many to go through—which surprised him, almost, since this was New York City, but there seemed to be a very limited amount of male prostitutes on the site. There were so few, and yet he couldn’t really focus on any one of them, not really. They all sort of looked the same. Big, macho guys with short, light hair and built bodies. Alec didn’t think he had a type, but looking through those pictures alerted him that whatever his type was, it wasn’t _that_.

And then he saw him.

It was the blonde streak in his hair that caught his eye, really. Unlike many of the other profiles, this one actually featured his face, rather than his body, and it seemed almost… artistic, especially when compared to the other profiles. Alec tapped on his profile and glanced through the pictures.

He was beautiful. There wasn’t really any other way to put that. His hair was styled in every picture, his clothes looked expensive and thoughtfully chosen. There were no fully shirtless pictures, but most of the shirts he wore had a low enough neckline or were unbuttoned far enough that they gave Alec just enough of a hint of what was underneath. Alec’s face was so hot from embarrassment that he almost had to put his phone away, but found he couldn’t put it down.

The profile itself was short and sweet. He didn’t go on like the previous guy had, and instead just focused on stating what he was comfortable with—which seemed like just about everything, to Alec, but he was hardly known for being adventurous—and ended with a short and sweet “ _Our night could be quite magical._ ”

And with that, Alec was sold. He needed to meet this man. Magnus. Even his name was interesting. Alec clicked on the link to his website, where there is more information and a way to contact. Alec opened the contact page, put in his name and email and… stared at the message box. What the fuck was he supposed to say?

He took a deep breath and stood up, walking with his phone in hand to the kitchen, where he poured himself a stronger drink. He stared at the message box for what felt like hours, before typing a simple message.

_Magnus,_  
_I’d like to take you to dinner. When are you free?_  
_Alec_

He stared at it for a long time, and before long the words felt like they were swimming in front of him. Pretty soon, every word looked as if it was spelled incorrectly. He deleted the message and rewrote it—the exact same way—three times, before he finally, for his own sanity, had to press send. He tossed his phone down on the counter just a little too hard, sending it sliding across the granite and almost off the edge, if he hadn’t caught it in time.

And then he put it back down. He put it back down and forced himself into the shower, turning on the water so hot he can’t think of anything but the burn, and it’s therapeutic, it really is. His mind feels blank, despite the racing it did before, and he feels at ease. As soon as he stepped out, though, the weight is placed back on his shoulders and he couldn’t help but rush through drying his body and getting dressed for bed so he could go retrieve his phone.

_Alec,_  
_How’s tomorrow at seven? The Silent City on the corner of Fifth and Alder?_  
_Magnus_

-

Saturdays are particularly uneventful in Alec’s life, but that particular Saturday was a blur. Absently, he knew that he got some work done on his manuscript, but he hadn’t allowed himself to read it over, preferring to use the “shitty first drafts” method of writing. He would look it over later and probably end up cutting most of what he wrote, since most of it was probably a mess, but at least it was there and he could nip and tuck as necessary later. Jace and Izzy were noticeably quiet that day, though Izzy did demand through text that they get together “sometime soon” for lunch. That could mean the next day, it could mean a week or two in the future. He appreciated it, though he knew that neither Jace nor Izzy had any idea what they were doing for him by leaving him alone.

He only felt progressively nervous the whole day. He was not going to throw up, he had decided, but his stomach was trying to organize a mutiny. Alec didn’t appreciate that. But there was nothing he could do to settle the butterflies, so eventually he just had to get ready. About an hour too early, honestly. But he couldn’t wait any longer and had to do something other than try to force himself to work or deep clean his apartment.

Which then meant that he was ready too early. Which then also meant that he left too early and showed up too early.

Thankfully, it was only by about fifteen minutes. Showing up at 6:45 for a 7pm date wasn’t terrible, so he could deal with that. He got to the restaurant—not really expecting it to be quite so fancy or put together, with the name it had and the fact that from the outside the building looked abandoned—and sat down, letting them know that he was meeting someone there. That took way more effort than it should have to get out, but he managed to tell his hostess, who promised to point the other man in the right direction.

_This was a bad idea_ , Alec thought as he sat there alone, trying not to down his entire glass of water. What could have made him think this was a good idea? He was an idiot. But there was still time. He could still leave, delete Magnus’s number, pretend it never happened, tell Izzy he threw away the card. Fuck. That’s what he had to do.

Alec stood up, ready to bolt, and turned around, only to be faced with Magnus, being led to his table by the hostess. _This is a bad time to stage the mutiny_ , he thought to his stomach, as his mouth fell open. Talk about bad timing. Or perfect timing, because it almost felt as if the world fucking stopped, and Alec was embarrassed for feeling that way. But Magnus was even more gorgeous than his pictures had led him to believe. He didn’t know that he had a thing for makeup, but something about Magnus’s eyeliner and glitter was… unbelievably appealing. And he was just as well-dressed now as he was in the pictures, telling Alec that either Magnus just knew how to dress to impress, or he had a stylist on call all the time.

“I hope you weren’t trying to escape,” Magnus teased with a knowing smile, and Alec about passed out.

He closed his mouth, opened it again, then closed it again, before turning back to the table and gesturing almost madly at their seats. “I-I. Escaping… isn’t the right word.”

This made Magnus grin, and Alec fell heavily into his own seat as Magnus floated into his. They both picked up their menus, Alec just a beat after Magnus, and Alec couldn’t help but notice the way Magnus’s eyes flicked over it, all of his attention focused on the sheet before him.

“Do you know what you’re getting?” he asked, and Alec almost didn’t hear him. He was almost too lost in his own thoughts.

“Oh. No. I hadn’t really looked. I only just got here.” Ten minutes ago.

“Great!” Something about the way Magnus said that, finally putting down the menu and grinning at Alec made him feel as if it really was great. “Do you mind if I order for you?”

Alec shook his head. “No, I’d. Be fine with that.”

Magnus nodded, glancing down at the menu again. “Any allergies or specifications?” Alec shook his head and Magnus nodded decisively, setting down the menu again and motioning at the waiter. Alec felt extra, sitting there staring at Magnus as he ordered—wine and entrees—for both of them, but there was something pleasant about that being taken from him. He didn’t want to worry about what to order right now, or if Magnus would judge him for ordering a specific thing, or the fact that he had no idea what wine was supposed to go with which meal. It was a load off his mind, honestly.

“So!” Magnus said, clasping his hands together and smiling at Alec. “Let’s start with some business first, shall we?”

Alec had almost forgotten the premise of their meeting. Almost. He nodded, trying not to sigh in relief, because at least they were _addressing it_. Alec was afraid that he would have had to bring it up himself, and he just didn’t think that he could do that.

“I don’t do anything more than dinner on the first meeting,” Magnus continued. Alec noticed his eyes drag down Alec’s body, though, as if appreciating it, and felt conflicted feelings of pride and embarrassment as Magnus looked pleased. “As much as I’d love to bend that rule with you, it’s really a very hard and fast rule. Is that alright, or should we call it quits now?”

Fuck, he was being addressed. “Th-that’s fine. Perfect, actually. Just perfect. It’s really all I wanted. Anyway.” Despite the fact that his mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls, he couldn’t help but feel as if he had sputtered the words out. Jesus, this was already embarrassing.

“Splendid! And you saw my rates?”

Alec nodded again, and they were briefly interrupted by a waiter bringing by the glasses of wine. Alec had never felt so happy in his life to have a glass of wine put before him, and he picked it up gratefully. It was... wine, alright. He was so focused on the drink—and not making a face at it—that he almost missed Magnus’s nod and wink to the waiter, as if the waiter had said something, though Alec was sure he hadn’t. He watched the waiter grin and walk away, but not without turning his grin toward Alec, and it felt as if there was something more to it.

Oh. Magnus probably knew the waiter. He had probably done this here before. Did _everyone_ here know he was hiring a prostitute? Or just the people who worked here?

“Alec is short for Alexander, is it not?”

Alec put down his wine to see Magnus staring at him, as if considering something. Alec couldn’t help but smile back, and felt almost a little ridiculous doing so. It was automatic, and yet he felt so dopey.

“Yeah, it is. Why?”

Magnus shrugged and looked thoughtful. “No reason. I like it. Do you mind if I call you Alexander?”

“Yeah, uh. Sure, that’s fine.” The only people who had ever called him Alexander were his family, and even then, only if they were pissed at him. His father had called him Alexander a lot lately, but they weren’t on the best of terms as of late. Somehow, though, the idea of Magnus calling him that seemed… pleasant. It didn’t feel like he was being scolded or being made fun of. It felt almost special. Which was another reason for Alec to feel ridiculous. He wasn’t special, he was just some random guy Magnus had just met. Probably didn’t even want to meet.

And yet, he was looking at Alec like he didn’t want to be anywhere else. Like he was equal parts intrigued and content.

So maybe he should breathe. Thus far, nothing bad had happened. In fact, it had already gone a lot better than Alec would have ever expected. He took a deep breath, smoothed his shirt, and smiled back at Magnus, and that felt like the easiest thing in the world to do.

“Yeah, you can absolutely call me Alexander.”

And after that, it got better. So much smoother. While they waited for their food, they talked about nothing important. Probably because Magnus was rolling with Alec’s sudden sense of calm. Not that he was truly calm, because the nerves didn’t really go away. He still found himself stumbling over his words every time Magnus blatantly flirted with him—which was a lot—and his heart was still thumping away loudly in his chest. But it slowly got easier. Once the food got there, he almost had forgotten that this wasn’t really a date.

“Now that we should be left alone for a little while,” Magnus started once the waiter walked away again after checking in on how they liked their food, “I think we should talk more… specifics. We know how tonight will go. What about after tonight? If you decide to hire me again, what would you want? What is on your list of dos and do nots?”

To Alec’s credit, he did not choke on the meal that Magnus ordered for him—some sort of salmon, but the exact name of the dish, he did not know. But just because he managed to not make a complete fool out of himself didn’t mean that he had any idea how to answer that question. He finished the bite in his mouth, taking his time, and looked as if he was considering. As if he had this under control. In reality, it felt like he was screaming internally.

“I don’t know,” he finally had to admit, keeping his eyes on his plate. “I’ve never… done this before. Not just… hiring someone. But any of this. Going on dates, sleeping with anyone. It’s all new.”

Magnus was silent for a moment, and Alec peeked up at him. He looked thoughtful. Not pleased or surprised or judgmental or discouraged, just thoughtful. His eyes were staring just to the side of him and he was swirling his wine, his face relaxed other than his eyes, which were just slightly squinted. Magnus also took his time in replying, though Alec was sure he didn’t look nearly as put together as Magnus did at that moment. Time seemed to almost wait for the will of Magnus, and Alec was having a hard time not finding that immensely appealing. He didn’t just command a room, he commanded the world itself, every bit of it. Or maybe that was just because Alec was mesmerized already.

“Alright. That’s alright. Won’t be a first for me. We can take this slowly, and I can help you discover what your list is.” He sounded almost excited by that prospect. “This is about you and your comfort, so know that I have no expectations of you. But I will ask you to talk, a lot, if we continue this. The best way I can make this the best experience for you is if you help me, Alexander.”

Alec nodded, though he was still unsure if this would go past tonight, anyway. Part of him wanted to see Magnus again—over and over again—but another part of him, a more cautious side of him, knew it was a bad idea. Alec had a talent for falling for people who would never feel the same way for him, and he had a particular skill in doing it way too quickly. He didn’t even know if this was how he wanted to do things. Did he really want his first time to be with a prostitute? Not that he thought there was anything inherently wrong with it, but it made him feel cheap and unwanted. He couldn’t find someone to have sex with him, so he had to pay someone? The idea was pathetic, even though he knew that wasn’t really the case. He hadn’t exactly been looking or welcoming to any prospects outside of this, so of course he was still a virgin. But, still, maybe this wasn’t what he wanted. Or maybe it was the best opportunity he would get. He just wasn’t sure yet.

“Alright. Then, we can talk more specifics as they come up. Why don’t you tell me about yourself, Alexander?”

The conversation drifted to small talk at that point. Magnus asked all sorts of questions about his life, keeping the conversation going about light subjects the entire time. Though it was a lot of Magnus asking questions and Alec answering them, it didn’t feel like he was being grilled. There was an easy familiarity that Magnus exuded, even though they had never met each other before. Alec felt comfortable answering questions about his life, his hobbies, everything. 

Alec absolutely noticed how for the rest of the evening, the conversation never once shifted off of himself. Every effort Alec made to _not_ talk up a storm about _himself_ and instead pay some attention to Magnus was thwarted by deflective answers and quick turn arounds. That was fine; Alec couldn’t blame Magnus for not wanting to divulge much about himself, but that didn’t mean he stopped. No, he still took every opportunity he could to try to turn the conversation back to Magnus, which also didn’t go unnoticed. Magnus had noticed, as evident by the way he smiled down at his plate for a second just before giving a deflective answer every time.

Before long, the check came. It didn’t _end_ their conversation, but it definitely put a different edge to it. Dinner was over. They would be leaving in a moment. Alec paid the bill and willed the waiter to, for the first time of the night, give bad service and draw this out as long as possible. That wasn’t in the cards, though, because the waiter came back promptly, wished them a good night, and both Magnus and Alec started packing up their things at the same time.

They walked slowly to the door and, once outside, the same nerves Alec had been feeling before came back. This was it. This was the end of their not-date, and Alec felt like he was in a strange limbo. He, obviously, couldn’t invite Magnus back to his own place—though he wasn’t completely sure if he would even if that was on the table—but their agreed-upon meeting was over.

“I. I had a great time,” he finally settled on saying, smiling at Magnus, though he found himself having a hard time keeping eye contact.

“I did, too, Alexander.” His voice was so warm and pleasant. 

Magnus hesitated, and Alec found himself waiting, too, to see if there was more that Magnus wanted to say. He could have stayed there forever, just waiting for more from the other man, and he felt vaguely embarrassed by that. It was honest, though.

“Alexander, when you said earlier that this was all new to you,” he started, flourishing his hand in a vague gesture of explanation. Then he paused, considering for a moment. “Did you mean everything? Have you had a first kiss?”

Alec, honestly, hadn’t been expecting that question. He felt his face grow hot as he shook his head, suddenly wanting the ground to swallow him up. Unless you counted a stage kiss he gave when he had finally succumbed to Izzy begging him to audition for the school play with her, he hadn’t. And he really didn’t count that because it was a girl and, in the end, he chickened out and kissed her just to the side of her mouth. It looked mostly believable from the audience, but his stage manager had been irritated. Up until that moment, he had managed to get away with not practicing the kiss, and then, in the stage manager’s words: he had “squandered the whole opportunity!” Alec had never really agreed with her until now. At least if he had actually kissed her he could have told Magnus that he wasn’t a complete loser.

“Hm,” Magnus replied, looking thoughtful again. Then he took a step closer to Alec and grasped lightly at Alec’s shirt. “May I?”

Alec barely registered nodding before Magnus was slipping a hand around his neck and tugging him down so their lips met. It felt natural, the way his arms moved to wrap around Magnus’s waist, pulling him closer, and the way their lips moved together. Like this was meant to happen, like he had been born for exactly this moment. It was magical, for lack of a better word. And then, far too quickly, Magnus was pulling away, and Alec tried to even his breath as he opened his eyes, to be met with a wide grin from Magnus.

“Good night, Alexander,” Magnus said, stepping away and out of Alec’s arms. “I hope to see you again soon. We can discuss payment at a later date.” And then he walked away, leaving Alec alone outside of the restaurant.

Alec was already in way too deep.


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay, what the fuck is up with you?”

Alec’s head shot up to face his sister, who was glaring at him with her arms crossed. Her whole body was tensed and the way her fingers tapped on her arm impatiently led Alec to believe that he had missed something she was saying. Or a lot of things she was saying, considering his head hadn’t felt truly in the moment all day.

He hadn’t even really been trying to hide it. He was aware of how rude he was being. Instead of listening to Isabelle’s story, he had been staring at his now-empty plate and thinking about Magnus. Like he had been doing all day, really. Everything seemed to be reminding him of his dinner with Magnus and now poor Isabelle was dealing with the ramifications of that—absolutely no focus on Alec’s end.

“Nothing,” he said, pushing the plate away and scooting back in his chair. “Sorry, sorry. Say that again?”

“Alec, do you even have _any_ idea what I was talking about?”

Alec smiled sheepishly at her; he didn’t have the slightest clue. Izzy sighed and rolled her eyes, the kind of full-body eye-roll that only Isabelle Lightwood could do so perfectly, before finally settling her gaze back on him. She leaned forward, placing her face in her hands, and Alec felt his stomach drop. _Oh no_.

“You haven’t been paying attention all morning. You’ve been constantly daydreaming and going off into your own little world. What happened, Alec?” There was an edge to her voice that told Alec that there was no way in hell that she would drop this.

“Nothing, Izzy. I’ve just been thinking.” He knew this wouldn’t work—he’d been her brother long enough, after all—but he had to try anyway. He didn’t really want to divulge what he had done last night, though, honestly, it probably would help to get it off his chest.

“Yeah, I got that, big brother. You’re not exactly a man of mystery. Obviously you’ve been thinking about _something_ , and I want you to tell me what it is.”

Alec sighed, gathering his phone and wallet from the table and slipping them into his pocket as he stood up. Isabelle followed and together they left the café they had been eating at. Isabelle, to her credit, didn’t say anything until they had started walking again, though Alec could feel her practically buzzing next to him whenever they bumped arms. 

“Okay, fine,” he said, and he pretended not to notice the little jump of excitement Isabelle gave. She was practically hanging off his arm right now, the anticipation building up so much. Part of him wished it was something else so that she’d be disappointed for all this build-up, but knowing Isabelle, the news of what Alec did last night would make her fucking _year_. “You know that card you gave me last week?”

“You hired someone? No _way_ , Alec. You have to tell me everything. I didn’t think you’d actually use it! What did he look like? Was he tall? Was he buff? Was he gorgeous? Was he amazing in bed?”

Alec rolled his eyes. “I didn’t sleep with him.”

“Don’t tell me you pulled a Holden Caulfield,” Izzy replied, disappointment thick in her voice.

“A Holden… no! Come on, _Catcher in the Rye_ , really? I haven’t read that book in years. _You_ didn’t even read it. How would you know that reference?”

Isabelle shrugged. “We talked about it in class. Clearly it made an impression on me. You, too, if you are drawing inspiration from him.” She turned to look at him and Alec looked back, his eyebrow raised. She stared at him just long enough to make him feel uncomfortable, her eyebrows furrowed in thought, then nodded. “Yeah, I suppose you and him are quite alike. You both seem to think the world is ending constantly.”

“I do not,” Alec huffed. 

Isabelle pulled them into a store, a small tarot card-type shop with tapestries all over the walls. It really had some beautiful things inside, and Alec didn’t blame Izzy for being drawn to it. Honestly, he was excited to look around, too. He had hoped she’d be distracted enough to drop the conversation, at least for a little while, but instead she started it up again as she looked through a display of stones that apparently had various healing properties.

“So, tell me about him,” she insisted, picking up one of the stones and looking at it closer.

“I don’t know, Iz. There’s not much to tell. His name is Magnus. We met up at a restaurant called The Silent City. I didn’t sleep with him because I’m not sure that’s what I want to do and because he has a rule against sleeping with people on the first meet-up. He does dinner first.” He felt a little ridiculous recounting it. He had been so excited about it when he got home that he couldn’t sleep for another several hours, but he also couldn’t focus enough to get any work done in that time. Explaining it to Izzy, though, made it seem like such a simple night. Nothing really happened.

“Why wouldn’t that be what you want to do? That was kind of the point of the card, you know.” She sent a smirk his way before moving on to the jewelry section, and Alec found himself following, also drawn by how pretty the necklaces were. And supposedly protective. Against what, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t really care enough to pick up the explanation card.

“I know that was the point. But, jeez, Izzy, why would I want to do that? Why would I want to sleep with someone who’s only there because I’m paying them to be? Doesn’t sound like much of an ego-boost to me.”

Izzy hummed in agreement, picking up a necklace and holding it to her skin. As if that was supposed to help her figure out if she wanted to buy it. What, was the stone supposed to go with her skin, or something? Didn’t you just look at a necklace, think it was pretty, and decide to buy it? It wasn’t like it wouldn’t fit.

“I suppose that’s a fair point. But why hire him, then?” she asked, putting the necklace down.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t get the card out of my head. So I decided to just… check it out. And I wasn’t going to at first, but then I saw Magnus’s profile and…” he trailed off, instantly regretting what he said when Izzy dropped the next thing she was looking at and grinned at Alec. God, there was something so evil about the way she grinned sometimes.

“Oh really? I want to see! Is he absolutely gorgeous? Was he what you expected when you actually saw him in person?”

Alec rolled his eyes and stepped away, pointedly looking at a display on the _other_ side of the store. “No, you can’t see.” And, yes, he was exactly what Alec expected and more. Everything about him had been just as gorgeous as it had been in the photos, but even more so because he was real. Also, the photos hadn’t shown his eyes, which were probably the best part. They also hadn’t shown his makeup, and while that probably wasn’t an everyday thing, it was still special enough to rank on the “Things That Were Better About Magnus in Person” list.

“Fine. I guess I’ll just have to look him up myself.” Alec forgot that she had the website, and now his name, and let out a frustrated sigh. Isabelle really had a knack for getting what she wanted, especially if it was something Alec really didn’t want to give her. There was nothing he could do now, though, so he just focused on a particularly ornate set of tarot cards in front of him.

“Oh, Alec,” Izzy said, almost a little dreamily. “He’s gorgeous! No wonder you wanted to hire him. I didn’t know _that_ was your type!”

“I don’t have a type.”

“Well, either way. You have good taste; he’s really beautiful. Are you going to see him again?”

Alec put the cards down and pinched the bridge of his nose, as if that would help him answer this. “I don’t know,” he said miserably, dropping his arm and staring at himself in the dusty, dirty mirror before him. “I had a great time. He ordered for me and was so charming and easy to talk to. And then after dinner he kissed me.”

“He _kissed_ you?!” Izzy exclaimed, and suddenly she was right beside him, pulling on his arms to make him face her. “You failed to mention that! What was it like? Tell me everything?”

As embarrassing as this was—Alec really didn’t like discussing his personal life, or lack thereof—he appreciated Izzy. She legitimately wanted to know about his life. And, despite how embarrassed he was, he also knew that she wouldn’t tease him over something like this. He needed to tell someone about the kiss, otherwise he’d be an unfocused mess for the rest of the week, and it was probably best that it was Isabelle. Rather than Jace or his editor or really anyone else.

“It was… nice. I told him that I didn’t have any experience with anything. So right before we went our separate ways, he asked if he could kiss me. And I said yes, so he pulled me in. It was really short and sweet, but it was… perfect. I’m surprised he did it, honestly. He said we’d talk about payment later, so he didn’t even make me pay him for last night yet. Probably just because it’d be awkward to kiss someone and then demand payment right after.”

“He sounds like the worst prostitute ever,” Izzy teased, flicking her hair behind her shoulder. “Or he wants you to hire him again. Maybe the first one was on him.”

Alec rolled his eyes and pulled away. “Are you done in here, or did you want something else?” He started toward the door, knowing she’d follow behind him.

“Don’t change the subject!” Isabelle said once they were outside. “You have to hire him again.”

“I’ll think about it, okay?” Alec sighed. “Can we please talk about something else? I don’t really want the entire city knowing that I hired someone.” 

It might have been completely in his mind, but Alec felt like everyone was suddenly staring at him. Glaring at him, to be precise, even though there was no way anyone in this city was listening to him. After all, it was New York. No one really gave a shit about what anyone else was doing as long as it didn’t interfere with what they were doing. Still, he couldn’t help but feel as if all the attention was on him. He didn’t like it.

“How is your research going?” he asked, grasping desperately at _any_ other conversation topic.

Izzy sighed, and Alec grinned. Bullseye. “It’s fine. Apparently we’re getting a new research assistant tomorrow, though. An undergrad who isn’t even a biology major, so I’m not sure why they gave it to her. Surely there is an actual major who would want the experience? It’s hard enough finding studies that will take you on as an undergrad; I don’t get why they have to make it even harder for the bio students to get that experience.”

“Maybe it’ll be nice?” Alec shrugged. “I mean, doesn’t it get a little boring, being surrounded by _bio kids_ all the time? Fuckin’ nerds.” He bumped her shoulder with his own before turning into another store he thought Isabelle would like. The store was full of a bunch of original art, all of which was made from household items, such as forks. Honestly, he was pretty interested by it, too. Not that he’d admit that to her.

“Says the guy who locks himself up in his office all day doing _research_. And not even the fun, hands-on type of research I do. The sitting in front of a desk and reading polls kind of research. Who is the nerd here?” She stopped in front of a particularly weird sculpture that looked almost like the utensils were having sex, honestly, and Alec was scared for a second that she was going to decide he needed it in his apartment. Especially when she looked up at him thoughtfully. But she moved on, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Though it would probably make its way into a gift-giving occasion. Hooray.

“Well, yeah, for _Dad_. Don’t really have a choice when that’s literally in my job description. You were the one that decided to go off and spend a ton of time and money on becoming a master nerd.”

Izzy grinned at the new sculpture-painting she was looking at, reaching out to touch it, instigating an impatient click from the shop owner before she pulled her hand away. “How is work? And our dear ol’ Dad?”

Alec rolled his eyes, leaning against a display table and watching Izzy inspect the shop. “You know how well it’s going. I’ve had an awful lot of ‘No, no, Alec, I can handle this trip on my own. You stay here. Hodge will tell you what to do.’ Executive assistant my ass. I’m basically his secretary. I deal with everyone’s complaints at the Institute and tell them that I’ll forward them to Robert. It’s terrible.”

He wasn’t working at the university for the love of it, not at all. His father had all but insisted that he needed Alec to work as his executive assistant once he graduated from college. It worked out well for him, since he had been able to finish his master’s degree at the university for free, as the president’s son, but he had hated the job since he got it. At least before, he felt important, but lately Robert had needed him less and less, and Alec knew it was personal. He had mentioned quitting to his mother, finding a new job that he   
actually enjoyed, and she had all but begged him not to.

“Your father needs you,” Maryse had insisted. “How would it look to the other members of the Board if Robert’s own son quit because he couldn’t stand working under him?”

She had a point, honestly, since his father had come under fire lately for his handling of a few issues on campus, including a teacher’s strike. Despite this, though, it felt to Alec as if Maryse’s own spot on the Board of Trustees was the one in jeopardy if Alec left. He would continue to do the job, even if his father was phasing him out, but that didn’t mean he had to enjoy it.

“Hey, I’m sorry about all this. Dad will come around,” Izzy said, stepping away from the display toward Alec and reaching up a hand to cup his cheek.

“Thanks. He won’t, but thanks.”

Alec looked away, unwilling to make eye-contact with his sister while they talked about this, knowing that she’d manage to make him tear up, probably by tearing up herself. Which was the last thing he wanted to do. Still, even without Izzy pointing it out, it sucked that things were this way. And, although every member of the Lightwood family would deny it, Alec knew that things had been different between him and his father ever since Alec officially came out to his parents. He wouldn’t say it, but the tension was there, and the tension was felt.

The good part about it was that his lack of work outside of regular work hours was great for his ability to write. He had gotten more done on his manuscript in the last month and a half than he had in the past two years of working for his dad. So, silver lining.

“Didn’t you say you had plans tonight?” he asked, pulling away from Izzy. He didn’t miss her small, knowing smile. How the hell could she communicate her pity that fucking well?

“Yeah, I did. Let’s go grab a taxi.”

\---

_Magnus, it’s Alec. I’d like to hire you again. This weekend? My apartment._

_So soon, Alec? You’re bolder than I thought. (;_   
_How’s Saturday night? Same time?_

_Sounds perfect._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shameless plug for my tumblr again c;  
> alecsbaene.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

After meeting with Isabelle, the week dragged on. Bright and early Monday morning he showed up at The Institute, ready for work, and spent all day going through Robert’s emails. As if he needed more of a reason to feel like he had been demoted to secretary. His father was still away in California, wining and dining with his mother to get a large donation from some wealthy man out there, so Alec was left to deal with the rest of the goings-on at work.

Which meant he spent most of the day hearing complaints from people, as if _he_ was the one that was in charge of the budget or the process for tenure or class sizes or any of that.

For the most part, though, it was bearable. Especially since he had something to look forward to. _Get through these emails, and this weekend you’ll see Magnus again. Survive this conversation, and you’ll see Magnus again. There’s only three more days until Saturday, you can do it._

He wasn’t sure when his life got so sad that his weekend plan with someone he was paying to be there would help him get through his week. And yet, here he was, only surviving because of the thought of seeing Magnus again. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. He would have been fine even without the promise of seeing the other man again. But it certainly didn’t hurt.

He didn’t tell Izzy that he had invited Magnus over. He didn’t want her to get his hopes up or make him so uncomfortable about it that he cancelled. He didn’t tell his editor, Lydia, even though he knew that she knew something was up as they discussed his manuscript. He didn’t tell Jace, but Jace didn’t really notice anything was up. Isabelle, thankfully, hadn’t spilled his secret (yet), so he was in the clear.  
All he had to worry about, then, was Saturday.

And worry he did. All day on Saturday he was a wreck. He cleaned his apartment thoroughly—probably a bit too thoroughly—and even managed to reorganize most of his kitchen. Not that he needed to, really, and he would probably just put it all back where it had been, but it was something to do, at least.

He agonized over his clothes, which wasn’t a usual occurrence. Usually he just grabbed whatever was most readily available, because you can’t really go wrong with a black shirt and jeans. Unless he were to ask Isabelle, who would agonize for _hours_ over the lack of variety in his wardrobe. Usually, it suited him. He had never agreed with her on the issue before, but suddenly, in the face of seeing Magnus again, he had to admit she was a little right. Or maybe a lot right. Because he had no fucking clue what to wear.  
Finally, he found something… okay. It wasn’t going to woo the pants off Magnus, but that wasn’t really the point, anyway. A denim shirt and black pants, just to mix things up a little. Maybe he’d call Izzy up and let her take him shopping after all.

He had to force himself to leave the bedroom before he decided yet again that he hated his clothes and wanted to change. Instead, he started focusing on cooking dinner, happy for something that could at least sort of occupy his mind while he waited.

Maybe it was a testament to his success at distracting himself, but the knock at the door startled him. Alec looked toward his phone, checking his phone. Right on time. He had almost forgotten to be anxious, but the knock set all of his nerves on fire; his heart was trying to claw its way out. Would every time feel like this? Would there be an every time?

Alec put down the potatoes he was washing, letting the water continue to run over them, and dried his hands on his pants as he walked to the door. He stared at it a moment, took a deep breath, then opened it with a wide smile on his face.

Magnus looked as gorgeous as ever, of course, and for a moment Alec’s breath caught in his throat. 

“Alexander,” Magnus greeted, grinning back at him. Alec opened the door wider, taking a step back to welcome Magnus in, and Magnus stepped inside. “How has your Saturday been?”

Alec closed the door behind Magnus and shrugged. “It’s been fine. How about yours?”

“Just fine,” Magnus answered, nodding once. He stepped back, glancing around the apartment, and nodded a little. Alec assumed that meant he approved, but he didn’t really want to ask. Magnus walked over to the couch, placing his hands on it and leaning into it as he continued to examine the apartment. “What did you have in mind, Alexander?” He turned around, leaning back on the couch instead, and smirked at him. And, God, if that wasn’t hotter than hell… That smirk directed right at Alec, Magnus’s shirt collar taking a severe dip and showing off just a hint of his chest.

Alec took a shaky breath and motioned toward the kitchen. “I’m cooking dinner.”

Alec turned around and walked into the small kitchen, but not before witnessing Magnus’s eyebrow raise just slightly. He followed, though, and Alec was able to go back to preparing their meal.

“What are we having?” Magnus asked, and his voice was a lot closer than Alec was expecting. He straightened from where he had been pouring the ingredients in a pan, looking to the side at Magnus, who was now leaning against the counter just next to him.

“Lemon rosemary garlic chicken,” Alec answered, turning around and putting the meal in the oven. “It’ll be ready in about fifteen minutes. Can I… get you a drink?”

Magnus grinned, nodding at him, and Alec pulled out two wine glasses and a brand new bottle of wine, which he might have gotten the night before in preparation for tonight. He didn’t know his way around wine very well—it all sort of tasted the same to him—but the man working at the liquor store insisted it was great. He poured the wine for them and handed Magnus a glass.

“To dinner,” Magnus said, holding up his glass. “May it taste as good as it looked.” 

Alec smiled a little, clinking their glasses together, and nodded before they both took a small sip. He watched Magnus as he took the drink, noticing the way Magnus looked away and seemed to be considering the wine. It probably wasn’t what he would have chosen. Magnus probably would have picked something that paired perfectly with the dinner they were about to have. Something that was expensive and delicious, and different enough that even Alec would taste the difference between it and, say, Two Buck Chuck.

“So,” Magnus started, pulling the glass away from his lips and examining it. He took his time in finishing what he was saying, drawing out the pause as he delicately twisted the glass. “Shall we move to the other room while dinner is cooking?”

Alec nodded, trying not to show Magnus how much he was _already_ hanging on his every word, and led the way to the living room. He took a seat on the couch, after a brief dilemma in where he should sit that caused a slight stutter in his steps. It probably wasn’t very welcoming of him to choose the armchair over the couch, though, so he went for the more… social option. Magnus also took a seat on the couch, close enough to Alec that their knees bumped every time either one of them shifted. Alec fought the urge to move away, to give Magnus more room, once he realized that the proximity was _intentional_.

This point was especially made for him when Magnus’s hand landed on Alec’s thigh. He almost expected the touch to be light, barely there, but instead it was a firm and heavy hand, drawing Alec’s eyes to it. Magnus leaned in and Alec’s eyes were drawn back up to Magnus’s face, where the other male had a grin on his face, but one with just a hint of… darkness to it. Alec had never really been particularly drawn to kissing someone, but in that moment, he couldn’t help but lean in the rest of the way to connect their lips.  
Magnus let out a soft, contented sigh at the kiss, taking his other hand to rest on the side of Alec’s neck, his thumb right at the juncture beneath his ear. Alec’s hands, foregoing hesitation for once, took hold of either side of Magnus’s hips, his thumbs rubbing lightly through Magnus’s shirt. 

Before, Alec had never really understood what the big deal was about making out, but in this moment, he completely got it. There was something intoxicating about the way Magnus was drinking him in, doing his best to make Alec feel thoroughly fucked even though all they had done was kiss. Every time they pulled away to catch their breath, the way the hot air intermingled brought Alec back, grasping for his lips again, wanting his tongue again. He could do this for hours, breathing be damned. Especially if Magnus continued running his fingers like that over the nape of his neck, not quite pulling at the short hairs, but close enough that it sent a shiver through Alec’s bones.

“I think we should,” Magnus started, kissing Alec between words, his voice sounding breathy and Alec couldn’t help the surge of pride at _him_ being at fault for Magnus sounding like that, “talk about boundaries.”

And then it all came crashing back. What they were doing, what Magnus was there for, Alec’s own inexperience. Alec pulled away slightly, but clearly not enough to imply that he wanted to stop, because Magnus’s lips chased his. Alec pushed just slightly at Magnus’s hips, huffing out a _”Wait,”_ and that was when Magnus stilled, pulling away. He gave Alec about five inches of distance, though his arms stayed where they were, and Magnus’s eyebrow raised in the silent question.

“We should…. Talk,” Alec answered, pulling his arms away. Magnus nodded, also dropping his hold. 

The alarm on the oven beeped and Alec jumped a bit at that. Had they really been kissing that long? One look at Magnus’s kiss-bruised lips and the hotness he felt in his own told him that, yes, he really had gotten that lost in Magnus. No wonder he was having a hard time breathing.

He hesitated a moment, then smiled apologetically and stood to retrieve their dinner. He didn’t want it to burn, after all. He heard Magnus following behind him, though Magnus stopped at the archway connecting the kitchen and the living room, rather than following him in. Alec pulled out the food, set it on the stovetop to cool, then turned around to face Magnus again.

Jesus. He was gorgeous, standing there with a shy—shy, really? Alec didn’t think Magnus did shy—half-smile as he leaned against the archway. He had both glasses of wine in his hand, and he held out Alec’s to him, while Alec stood transfixed by this man. God, he was getting himself into a real mess, honestly. While Magnus probably felt no particular way towards him, considering he was just doing his job. He was convincing, though, if that kiss was anything to go off of.

The thought, honestly, made Alec’s mouth run dry, and he had to look down at the ground for a second before he took the glass from Magnus. He didn’t want to go further with this if it wasn’t something that Magnus legitimately wanted. And there was no way for him to really know as long as Alec was a customer. So… they wouldn’t do this. And that was fine. Alec was okay with that.

“Why don’t you go sit down?” Alec said, smiling. He motioned to the bar top, which Alec had already set—aside from plates, which were sitting on the counter waiting—in preparation for tonight. “I’ll serve dinner. And we can talk.”

Magnus nodded and sat down, and to his credit, he stayed completely silent and just watched as Alec dished out their meal. Alec took his time doing so, partially to make sure that it tasted the best it possibly could and also so he could buy himself time to figure out what the fuck he wanted to say. Every time he glanced at Magnus, the other man looked attentive, and Alec couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face every time he looked back down at his work.

When he finally placed the food in front of Magnus, Magnus’s face lit up. He waited until Alec was sitting again, with his own meal in front of him, before he lifted up a glass.

“Is it too much to toast again?” Magnus asked, though the tone of his voice and the way his glass was already halfway between them implied that he didn’t really care if it was too much. Alec obliged, bringing his glass to Magnus’s with a soft _clink_ before they each took a sip.

They ate in silence for a while, aside from a few quick comments, compliments from Magnus, mostly, until Alec finally plucked up the courage to speak. It took a lot longer than he would have liked to admit, but it happened eventually, and Magnus turned all of his attention towards him as soon as Alec cleared his throat. Alec was grateful for that.

“So, I guess we should talk about. Um. This.” Magnus nodded, but didn’t say anything. “I don’t want to have sex with you.”

Which wasn’t exactly true, because Alec had spent a lot of time the past week thinking about having sex with Magnus. And after their makeout session he would probably spend a lot more time thinking about it. But for all intents and purposes, he didn’t want to. Magnus’s eyebrow raised, but he still didn’t say anything. Maybe he understood that Alec had to get it all out first, and that it would take a while. Alec didn’t think he was easy to read, but the way Magnus acted around him already made him feel as if, maybe, he was.

“I’m not really sure why I hired you, honestly. I guess I just… decided I had to. But I don’t want to have sex with you. Not like this. I don’t really love the idea of paying someone when I lose my virginity. It’s not really a huge ego boost and I don’t want to wonder if you even enjoyed it and I just… I don’t know. I want to wait. But I would like to keep hiring you, if that’s okay. Because I liked talking to you. I get it if you don’t want to, though, and it’s perfectly okay if you just… decide to leave after dinner. I’ll still pay you, of course, and I won’t hold it against you at all. Not that you care, I’m sure, I mean, why would you really care if the guy that’s paying you doesn’t like you that’s ju—“

He’s cut off, thankfully, by Magnus’s finger against his lips. He looked at Magnus for the first time since starting his little ramble-fest, since he had been looking off to the side before then, and there was an amused smile on Magnus’s face. Although Alec is blushing so hard he feels like he’s going to overheat, that makes him feel just a bit better.

“I understand, Alexander,” Magnus says, pulling his finger away. “We can just talk. And I would love it if you continued to hire me. Especially if you keep making me food as fantastic as this.”

Alec relaxed considerably and nodded a bit. “I really would like to. Hell, somewhat regularly, if that’s okay?”

Magnus took a sip of his wine and nodded a bit, considering this. “We could do Sunday nights,” he said, shrugging non-committedly. “I’m usually free Sunday nights. And I wouldn’t recommend having a somewhat regular thing. How does that sound?”

Alec nodded vigorously. “Yes, yes, Sundays would be great. And we could just… have dinner or go places and just talk. That would be really nice.”

The smile that lit up Magnus’s face as he took another bite to hide it was, honestly, something that Alec could live for. “As for payment… it’s not exactly fair to charge you for the same thing as my other clients.” Alec started to protest, but Magnus held up a hand. “How about we do… $200 for the entire night, plus expenses?”

Alec paused, almost ready to argue, then nodded. He didn’t want Magnus to lose out on money—since he would absolutely make more with another client—but Magnus seemed set on this. And it seemed like a fair price to Alec, if he were to hire Magnus every Sunday… So he let it go. 

After that, the mood lightened. They were able to actually talk and they finished their meal after long, drawn out stories that had them both laughing hard enough to clutch at their sides. The way Magnus told stories gave so much insight into his personality, without giving really anything too deep away, and Alec was honestly captivated by it. Alec found himself telling stories about Izzy and Jace, even one or two about Lydia.

Magnus didn’t leave until almost midnight, and their night didn’t end in a kiss, but it did end in a hug.

Alec found himself in bed an hour later, staring at the ceiling before he finally fell asleep.

_Oh my god_ , he thought, as he drifted off to sleep. _I became Holden Caulfield._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [follow me on tumblr!](izziefray.tumblr.com)


End file.
